A Month Now

Last Sunday, the newest little person (we are still trying to think of a nickname) turned a month old. AHHH! Talk about having a panic attack! I know I have already said it, but time is just going TOO FAST!

What a fun month, though. We all love the littlest one like crazy, including big sis, who when asked by others if she likes her, just shrugs and says, "Uh, I don't know yet." for the attention. It sure is hard being ousted as only child and center spotlight all the time. However, Goose does love her. Holds her, changes diapers, sings to her, plays with her, etc. I honestly don't know what I would do without her help most days. She is the best big sister ever!

I think my prednisone is affecting the poor little one, who in just 4 short weeks gained about 3 pounds. Now, that may not sound like much, but that's half her birthweight! There are plenty of new rolls to love and try to keep clean now.

People keep telling us she looks like Goose, however, we still don't see it. Maybe through the eyes, but they certainly aren't twins. They look like sisters, but that's it. Its fun to watch the littlest change as she gets older. We wonder who she will look more like, especially me with one daughter already a clone of her dad. I wouldn't mind a little of my family gene pool in there. Another fun new find was just brought to my attention yesterday. As I have said, littlest is pretty colicky. Meaning, we are up a lot at night together, and I don't get much done in the morning until around 10 or 11 when she stops crying. Afternoons aren't bad, but evenings aren't great either. Yesterday a friend told me about Gripe Water. LAAAAAHHHH (see the heavens open and angels singing)! Baby actually slept last night except for her 3:30 feeding AND was a whole new baby today. THANK YOU THANK YOU, FRIEND! We are hoping this wasn't a fluke and we are on a road to a baby that actually feels well for the first time since she was born.

Other fun information. I am obsessed with cute. I have to put her in bracelets, bows, and cute little shoes. I wonder if it stems from Goose never letting me do any of this??? I know, I know. Chances are, she will be just like Goose (and myself... can't deny it) and turn into a total tomboy who hates to have hair done or have to be in the current fashions, but for now, mommy has the say and mommy says we are gonna be cute! Daddy, on the other hand, is predictable. As soon as he gets her in church, the first thing to go is the bow. Then socks. Then bracelet. Period.

I was serious about the panic attack part. It scares me to death to have her get older so fast. What if she is the last one? (I still think about one more... maybe... not real sure at the moment. I need a couple years) What if she is like Goose and I and hates personal contact (I am getting better...) and won't let me hold, love on, cuddle, and kiss her in the next few months? What if something happens? What on earth will I do when school starts? How will I be able to stand leaving her for class all day?

I know. We can't live our life on what if's. But I waited so long, I don't want to miss a minute. I don't want to leave her to go to school. (but I can't just quit school) I can't even stand the thought of leaving her with a babysitter for a couple hours. I want to and do let everyone hold her, but I miss her every minute she is with someone else. No, that doesn't mean I won't share, or don't want to, I think it just means I am slightly psychotic. Good luck dealing with me the next few months!